Contrary to what this young generation believes, parents, continue to care and worry for their children even if they are all grown up. As parents, we worry about them even before they were born. After delivery and once we are sure that they have complete fingers and toes and they start to cry, our worry doesn’t stop there.
Their safety, their grades, their career, and even about choosing the person that they want to marry one day, are just some of the things that cause us to lose sleep at night. We hope and pray that they grow up to be good citizens of our community. It came to a point that we thought that as they mature, our worries will tone done but in reality, this is not the case.
According to a recent study conducted by Amber J. Seidel from Pennsylvania State University, it solidifies what every parent already know; you will NEVER stop worrying about your children. Seidels’ study reveals that parents are actually losing sleep worrying about their adult children! If you already have adult children, you may already know that this is true.
Seidels’ study included a survey of 186 heterosexual married couples with adult children. They were asked the amount of assistance that they offer and measure it on a scale of 1 to 8. The assistance being asked includes financial, emotional, and even a simple talk on the phone. Rating it “1” would mean that they have daily assistance and interaction with their children, while “8” would be assistance once a year.
These parents were also asked to rank their stress levels from 1 to 5 where 1 means ‘no stress’ and 5 means that the maximum amount of stress that they experience. Parents also have to track how much sleep they got at night.
According to the study, moms have an average of 6.66 hours while dad has slightly more at an average of 6.69 hours. What made this results more special is that these were taken together and compared in order to see if there is really a pattern with stress and lack of sleep and if this is associated to assisting their grown-up kids.
This study reveals that there is definitely a pattern!
Dads are showing evidence of lack of sleep as well as stress only when they are the ones offering assistance to their children. However, when it is the wife who offers the help, it didn’t affect them.
This only means that dads are not affected the same way as moms because wives do not usually tell their husbands about the assistance that they are offering to their kids resulting for the dads to be stress-free because of their lack of knowledge regarding the situation.
In this modern world, parents and children now have the opportunity to get connected easily because of cell phones and social media. We have to admit, even if an adult child is not asking their parent for assistance, the parent can easily tell if there is a need to worry and if they need help because of what their children post on social media.
For parents, it is time to take a step back and let your children deal with their problems on their own. For children, make sure to avoid causing stress to your parents. They might not be strong enough to worry about your worries anymore.